Christians And Divorce: Six Myths About The Effects of Divorce On Adult Children

Christians have a divorce rate roughly equal to non-Christians. They also share the same six myths about the effects of divorce on adult children. Most people know that divorce has a huge impact on minor children but not everyone realizes that adult children are also significantly affected. Here are the six myths:1. Adult children won’t be affected financially. Not true. Many adults today aren’t self-sufficient and rely on their parents into their late 20’s and early 30’s. A divorce may affect their parents’ ability to help them financially through college and while finding a job. The separation of assets also means that any family assets that may have been available for them later through inheritance will most likely be spent. In addition, they may now have one or both parents who won’t be financially stable who may need financial help from the children at some point.2. Adult children won’t be put in the middle. To the contrary, many divorcing parents tell their children all the divorce details assuming that their adult children will understand the marital problems and even be able to offer advice and support and many blatantly attempt to get the children to side with them against the other spouse. Parents often disclose information to their children that creates a dilemma for the adult child. Hearing shortcomings about your parent even if they are only manifested in the marriage makes you question the character of your parent. Telling an adult child negative things about one of their parents puts them in the difficult position of appearing to condone the behavior by continuing to have a relationship with that person. The pressure to side with one parent over the other comes from the parents and from the internal conflict the adult child feels over the choices the parent is making.3. Adult children won’t have many adjustments. The adjustments for adult children will actually be significant and stressful. They are already handling adult responsibilities that may include a family, children, job, bills, college, and/or busy schedule. When you add on the additional demands to keep up with both parents and their separate lives, stress will be added. The adjustments of having to combine holiday and other events with parents who may not want to be together at the events, the strain that will be felt by all, and needing to see each parent separately on holidays is a huge adjustment.4. Adult children won’t feel responsible. Young children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Adult children also feel responsible for their parents but in different ways. You don’t worry about your mom when she is with your dad and your dad when your mom is taking care of him, but you do worry about each when they are alone. When they know a parent is hurting emotionally, they will feel a need to emotionally support and comfort the parent. They will feel responsible to spend more time with a parent who feels alone and has too much empty time to fill. If one or both parents are struggling financially due to the break up, the adult child will struggle with whether or not to help financially. They may even have to deal with a parent needing to move into their home. They may feel that it is their responsibility to confront the parent that is causing the divorce or be a mediator to try to get the parents back together.5. Adult children won’t feel the loss of a family. Not true, adult children suffer a huge loss. Divorce shatters one’s sense of family. It robs them of a past, especially if they learn their parents have had problems all along but stayed together for the children and what they believed to be true about their family isn’t true. Even when adult children live away from home, it is a comfort to know they have a home they can come back to. Family provides security, a sense of belonging, a common identity and a shared history. What was once one family is now two and the loss of the intact single family unit is destabilizing. Adult children will go through the grief cycle that will include stages of denial, anger, blame, and sadness. They may also struggle with personal betrayal and abandonment by the parent who is initiating the divorce.6. Adult children won’t be affected spiritually. This is also not true. They may have a spiritual crisis that includes questioning their faith. They may question their parents’ beliefs having been raised in a Christian home with a faith that doesn’t support divorce and the parents are divorcing. They may question God’s ability and willingness to answer prayer when he hasn’t intervened and saved the parents’ marriage. They may even feel less secure in their own marriages or in the institution of marriage, since their parents couldn’t stay together.While there are times that Christians need to divorce, it is important to know the truth about how everyone in the family will be affected. You need to understand these six myths about how adult children are affected by divorce so you can respond appropriately to your adult children and support them through this difficult family adjustment.

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What’s The Etiquette Involved If I Want To Have An Adults Only Wedding?

For anyone who is arranging a marriage ceremony that you’d like to be a great adult’s just occasion, you may well be questioning ways to let your friends and relations know. It’s rather a worry problem specifically for those who have many pals with young kids. Bear in mind, nevertheless, that your marriage ceremony is the time and when anyone want to produce a mature just wedding service in addition to reception, there may be nothing at all drastically wrong with that. Along with don’t let anyone let you know almost any in a different way. It is something, nevertheless, that will require a little gentle handling.The most convenient way to getting a great adult’s just marriage ceremony is usually to definitely not ask almost any young children. Which means whenever you handle the actual envelopes anyone handle that to be able to Mr. in addition to Mrs. Jones just. You do not add some common “and family” which many people tend to be so utilized to experiencing. That by it needs to adequately explain to the invited company that you’ll be organizing a great adult’s just occasion.One of the issues you should become fully prepared pertaining to in case you intend to produce an adult’s just marriage ceremony in addition to reception is of which a few of friends and family with young kids will probably allow their regrets. However many people them selves might not exactly happen to be parents pertaining to very long, many of them will probably even now definitely not be able to visualize heading wherever devoid of their young children. Pals whom are derived from miles away whom may choose to show up at the marriage ceremony at any rate however must deliver their young children together will be needing assist coming from anyone inside tracking down good childcare while these are pictures marriage ceremony in addition to reception. Any new bride organizing a great adult’s just marriage ceremony need to expect you’ll accomplish your research with something such as that in order that her pals do not need to scramble if they occur. You do not need, nevertheless, to be able to experience obliged to pay for their childcare.It is a tough decision to choose to be able to strategy a great adult’s just marriage ceremony. However should you be getting your marriage ceremony in a few unusual positions, including on a vessel, for example, you need to keep everyone’s basic safety primarily in your thoughts. Locations which offer likely problems to be able to young kids must be retained since older people just sites. Keep in mind that a few of friends and family whom accomplish get young kids might be thankful for the chance to have available devoid of these for just a nighttime.One caveat, should you be organizing an adult just marriage ceremony, whenever you set the actual invitations within the email, you may need to give the pals with young kids some sort of mobile call. Just to pre warn these the invite is coming and will definitely not incorporate their young children. This can be a really difficult mobile call to make, however in case feathers are going to be ruffled because of the characteristics with the invite, it might be far better go that away from on the pass rather than to be able to stay in addition to ask yourself precisely they’re going to behave. Within scenarios this way, it is more effective to be pro-active beforehand rather than reactive later on.

Making Birthday Parties Fun For Kids and Adults With Great Party Invitations and Ideas

Birthdays are meant to be enjoyed by all. But sometimes games and activities that are enjoyed by kids aren’t necessarily enjoyed with the same √©lan as the grown ups. It takes a little planning, but it is possible to host a party that can be enjoyed by kids of all ages. Pick games and activities that partner kids and grown ups and all of your guests will be having a great time.Invitations
Start your kid and adult friendly party with the perfect birthday invitation. Make a note that you’ll be planning on entertaining kids and adults. By giving adults a ‘heads up’ about the planned activities you’ll have them ready to be engaged in activities and games. Also, if your games are going to be played outside, you might want to make a special note of this on your birthday invitation. Getting your guests to arrive in the proper attire will go along way towards making your big day a hit.Get some help
You might want to enlist some extra helping hands to keep the kids entertained. If you’ve got some baby sitters on call you might want to have them help you if you’ve got large group of kids. You might even want to consider hiring a ‘host’ to keep the kids entertained. This will give the adults a chance to mingle with the other grown-ups and enjoy the adult party of the party. Make a note on your birthday invitations if you’ve decided to hire help and this way the adults won’t have to worry about chasing their birthday guest around for the afternoon.Games
Most party games are aimed at kids – or at least the kid in all of us. Pick games that kids and parents can play together. A three-legged race, water balloon toss or egg balance game are all kids games that adults can enjoy, too. A rousing game of kick ball or baseball might be a fun activity if your yard is big enough. If you’re hosting your party indoors, make sure you’ve got plenty of interactive video games – bowling, tennis, etc. These games are great fun for kids and adults. If you are planning outdoor games, note this on your birthday invitation so your guests bring their sneakers.On-site events
Planning your event at a restaurant, arcade bowling alley, local recreation center or community pool can be a great way to entertain kids and adults. Most of these locations have activities that are great for kids and adults. Bowling and swimming can be great fun for kids and adults alike. Or try finding a recreation center near you with kid and grown up activities like a climbing wall. This gives parents and kids a great chance to bond and accomplish something together. This makes a recreation center a perfect place for a birthday party. And these games and activities can make for a great birthday invitation.While kids and adults may not agree on activities, they can both enjoy an afternoon of fun and games at a birthday party. Keep the kids occupied and get the adults to join in the fun and you’re all set for a great birthday for kids of all ages.